Thou art a villain
I have it on good authority that my last blog was rubbish - thanks, Tim, for letting me know - and that I am absolutely not allowed to write about climbing again. Which is a shame, because I was feeling very pleased with myself for getting free entry to the Hangout after setting a new route. Named after some cartoon from some website from some link that someone sent me, 'I AM STILL AFRAID OF VELOCIRAPTORS' is Aussie grade 19 and no-one - including me - has climbed it first time yet, which makes me very happy. But you don't want to know about that, do you? So never mind.
This is the plan, comrades - lovely girlfriend Inday and I are heading north up the coast to a place called Ningaloo Reef at the start of April. Inday has landed a job working onboard the tourist charter boats as videographer, filming the punters splashing around the annual whale shark migration. These bus-sized monsters pass Ningaloo every year between April and July, quaffing plankton and sea gubbins, coated with remoras and trailed by an entourage of other marine life. They look amazing. We'll be staying barely a hundred kilometres from the Tropic of Capricorn in a small town called Exmouth which is famous for not having a wet season; I'll share the editing and film the days Inday can't, and I'm looking for a job for me, too - the best bet cropped up yesterday with an eco-resort looking for tour guides. Tim will be pleased to know that they did everything short of specify 'hippy' on the vacancy notice. Part of the interview is a 400-metre swimming 'test', so I'm trying to get down to the beach every day and practice, practice...
Yesterday morning, while drinking coffee in Inday's kitchen:
"Dad, what's that game where you flip things down?"
"Othello?" It's been thirty years but Dennis still has a broad Yorkshire accent.
"Othello, that's it. We should play that. Did you ever read the play?"
"No," I said. "Not that one."
"Call yourself a literature student? Hah!"
We drink coffee.
"What was the phrase in there?"
"Which phrase?"
"You know, that phrase. 'The beast... the beast with two backs'. That's it. 'The beast with two backs'. What does that mean again?"
I never before this moment appreciated the meaning of 'my blood froze in my veins'.
"Umm, I'm not sure."
"Oh, come on! 'The beast with two backs'! It's in Othello. 'The beast with two backs'. Isn't that what Othello says when he's angry, Dad? 'The beast with two backs'?"
Dennis is silent and I am winking frantically at Inday.
"I think it's when he's angry. He says 'The beast with two backs'... Why are you looking at me like that, babe? What? 'The beast with two backs'... and you call yourself a literature student... 'The beast with two backs'. 'The beast with two backs... two backs'..."
Inday is struck with a sudden look of horror and she stops talking. Dennis has still not said anything. We leave.
Othello 1,1:
IAGO I am one, sir, that comes to tell you your daughter and the Moor are now making the beast with two backs.
BRABANTIO Thou art a villain.
New music! Modest Mouse and Arcade Fire have both released astonishing new albums, and that idiot Banks has finally got around to putting up new songs on 'My Friend Otto', and not before time, too.
Yesterday I found a small scorpion. I put him in an old coffee jar and called him Boris but he didn't do much so I let him go.
The paving is going well in the back garden.
This is the plan, comrades - lovely girlfriend Inday and I are heading north up the coast to a place called Ningaloo Reef at the start of April. Inday has landed a job working onboard the tourist charter boats as videographer, filming the punters splashing around the annual whale shark migration. These bus-sized monsters pass Ningaloo every year between April and July, quaffing plankton and sea gubbins, coated with remoras and trailed by an entourage of other marine life. They look amazing. We'll be staying barely a hundred kilometres from the Tropic of Capricorn in a small town called Exmouth which is famous for not having a wet season; I'll share the editing and film the days Inday can't, and I'm looking for a job for me, too - the best bet cropped up yesterday with an eco-resort looking for tour guides. Tim will be pleased to know that they did everything short of specify 'hippy' on the vacancy notice. Part of the interview is a 400-metre swimming 'test', so I'm trying to get down to the beach every day and practice, practice...
Yesterday morning, while drinking coffee in Inday's kitchen:
"Dad, what's that game where you flip things down?"
"Othello?" It's been thirty years but Dennis still has a broad Yorkshire accent.
"Othello, that's it. We should play that. Did you ever read the play?"
"No," I said. "Not that one."
"Call yourself a literature student? Hah!"
We drink coffee.
"What was the phrase in there?"
"Which phrase?"
"You know, that phrase. 'The beast... the beast with two backs'. That's it. 'The beast with two backs'. What does that mean again?"
I never before this moment appreciated the meaning of 'my blood froze in my veins'.
"Umm, I'm not sure."
"Oh, come on! 'The beast with two backs'! It's in Othello. 'The beast with two backs'. Isn't that what Othello says when he's angry, Dad? 'The beast with two backs'?"
Dennis is silent and I am winking frantically at Inday.
"I think it's when he's angry. He says 'The beast with two backs'... Why are you looking at me like that, babe? What? 'The beast with two backs'... and you call yourself a literature student... 'The beast with two backs'. 'The beast with two backs... two backs'..."
Inday is struck with a sudden look of horror and she stops talking. Dennis has still not said anything. We leave.
Othello 1,1:
IAGO I am one, sir, that comes to tell you your daughter and the Moor are now making the beast with two backs.
BRABANTIO Thou art a villain.
New music! Modest Mouse and Arcade Fire have both released astonishing new albums, and that idiot Banks has finally got around to putting up new songs on 'My Friend Otto', and not before time, too.
Yesterday I found a small scorpion. I put him in an old coffee jar and called him Boris but he didn't do much so I let him go.
The paving is going well in the back garden.
posted by real sly shady at
5:13 PM
6 Comments:
Like the writing - made me chuckle! So, you are the villain?
I thought Inday's Dad was Scottish?
Tim will be away for a week doing snowy things in Andorra (if there is any snow of course)!
How about trying to get some sort of climbing qualification so's you could teach it?
Fantastic blog man. Glad to hear that you're not wanting for company. You're a lucky bastard- whale sharks are amazing. Biggest fish in the world (if you include skates, rays, and sharks as fish). And they dont even have a skeleton- entirely cartilaginous. If you want the biggest bony fish that'll be the sunfish- Mola mola. They look like huge frisbees with fins. Ross
Excellent paving by Monkey Boy. The place is looking great. We are still thinking of a way of sabotaging his plans to head up to Exmouth but I can only work with the material at hand - hmmmm. Boris, where are you?
Jem
Sort of missing Tim's "the voice of..." but he says he's having a great time and hitting pain barriers he never knew existed!!
Perhaps Boris needed something to play with?
x
Glad to see I'm missed! Not by Simon, who owns the blog, but at least by a poster. Thanks Mum.
Better blog this time, even if you did make a thirty second conversation into a goodd few paragraphs. Congratulations.
Andorra was awesome, for those that care - and Bits of me best left unmentioned are in a whole new exciting world of pain that I hope never to visit again.
Big love.
I'm not a poster!
..........
..........
er,......
oh, you mean a Poster
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